What If We Saw Strength? Reframing the Narrative Around Children in Care and Care Leavers

When we look at children in care and care leavers, what do we see?

Do we see problems? Risks? Wounds?

Or do we see strength? Survival? Courage?

We live in a world that too often defines children in care by what they’ve lacked  not by what they’ve endured, overcome, or fought to protect within themselves. But what if we flipped the script? What if we began to see these young people, not through the lens of stigma, but through the lens of resilience?

Resilience Isn’t Just a Buzzword. It’s a Daily Reality

Let’s be clear, no child should have to be resilient. No young person should have to navigate instability, loss, trauma, or abandonment. But for those who have lived in the care system, survival has often been a necessity  and with that comes a quiet, powerful kind of strength.

Imagine being a child and moving from place to place, saying goodbye to friends, schools, routines, and sometimes siblings. Imagine packing your belongings into black bin liners, watching adults make decisions about your life, and having to explain again and again  why your parents aren’t around.

And now imagine still getting up, going to school, making people laugh, caring for others, and holding onto hope.

That’s resilience. That’s strength. That’s what we should be talking about.

What the Labels Don’t Tell You

Behind every “challenging behaviour” might be a child learning to protect themselves in a world that hasn’t felt safe. Behind every “hard to engage” young person might be someone who has learned not to trust, because trusting has hurt them before.

When we only see labels, we miss the truth. These aren’t “difficult kids.” They are children navigating complex emotional terrain with limited tools, often without consistent support. And still,  many of them dream, love, laugh, and hope.

We need to stop asking, “What’s wrong with them?”

And start asking, “What’s happened to them?” and even more importantly, “What strengths have they developed to survive?”

Care-Experienced, Not Care-Defined

Being in care is one chapter, not the whole book. For many care-experienced people, their story includes pain, yes,  but also growth, humour, talent, and transformation.

They are:

• The students who show up even when life is chaotic.

• The young carers who put others before themselves.

• The activists fighting for better systems.

• The workers juggling jobs and college.

• The parents trying to break generational cycles.

• The dreamers, the doers, the survivors.

They are not their trauma. They are not statistics. They are human beings with insight, adaptability, and heart.

How We Can All Make a Difference

We can’t undo what’s happened, but we can change what happens next.

• Believe in them. Genuinely and without condition.

• See beyond behaviour. Be curious, not judgmental.

• Offer consistency. Even small acts of reliability matter.

• Uplift their voice. Let care-experienced people shape the systems built for them.

• Celebrate their strength. Not just for surviving, but for thriving in spite of the odds.

The Power of Being Seen Differently

When we change how we see children in care and care leavers, we begin to change what’s possible for them. A kind word, a stable adult, a belief that they are capable, these things matter. They are more powerful than we know.

Because every child, regardless of their past, deserves to be seen not for what they’ve been through,  but for who they are becoming.

What if we saw strength?

We’d see the truth.

And we’d build a better future.